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We often do not communicate respectfully.
Our differences keep us from connecting and acting as a team.
Complains are brought up abruptly or quickly escalate into unproductive communication.
One or both of us get overloaded, shut down, or blow up.
One or both of us gets defensive (explain, deflect, "ya but...", counter complain, judge).
We seem to have the same conversation / argument over & over.
We seem to be living parallel lives, more like roommates.
One or both of us criticizes, are sarcastic, or insulting.
One or both of us feel disregarded, unimportant, or dismissed often.
We show appreciation for each other regularly.
