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Rediscover Your Passion +

Revive Your Relationship

Your relationship feels like it’s broken in pieces. 

You’ve tried to pick up the pieces and put them back together, but nothing seems to work.

 

Whether you feel like nothing you do is enough or your partner expects too much from you; you feel like you’re running out of ideas and options. 

 

You know you’ve got to do something to fix your shattered relationship, but what?

 

Life's too short to live it unhappy or unfulfilled.

 

There’s hope, and I can help. 

 

I know because I’ve been there and tried everything too.

Forest Trail

Hi, I'm Deanne Carter

I’m an intuitive relationship coach who works with couples who feel stuck, lost, or hopeless in their relationships. 

 

They want to feel closer, more support, and love.

 

I teach them how to do the inner work to experience connection, trust and security in their relationship so they can thrive together.

I didn’t always live a balanced and fulfilled life.  

When I began my career as a school counselor in the 90's, I was highly skilled in understanding others’ needs and motivations and how to inspire them to make positive changes. It was only later that I realized my ego-mind had me getting my sense of worth from influencing others rather than from within.

I had defined my identity by my work success.

Later, with my master’s degree in counseling, I built a private practice where I helped people with parenting, relationships, ADD, and brain health. I taught them how to create systems and organize their lives and brains to keep cool and be more productive. From the outside, it looked like I had everything together. 

 

I was climbing the career mountain and moving up in the world. Sure, I enjoyed being successful, but I felt incomplete. I was restless and wanted more but felt stuck — I had to do something.

Deeping my self-awareness.

I attended meditation retreats, practiced shamanism, went to the woods, returned to therapy, and used fasting ceremonies to deepen my self-awareness. Through these things, I felt more present to life and thought I was finally going to feel like I was at the top of the career mountain.

My private practice was thriving. By my 30's, I studied eight different relationship programs, helped others with practical communication tools, navigated different personality traits, and taught others to use conflict to build trust and healthy boundaries. I created the first version of my 5-hour relationship intensive. When I got married, I thought I had my personal and professional life all figured out

 

Yet, happiness was out of reach because my own blind spot kept me exhausted. Behind the closed doors of my marriage, it was a mess. When my ex-husband criticized me, I tried to do more and work harder. My list of health issues in response to stress was mounting — gut issues, insomnia, heart palpitations, asthma, weight gain, and back pain were just some of the uncomfortable things I was navigating. Being so distracted by the stressors, I didn't have a strong connection to myself.

 

As my marriage deteriorated, I would lose my grounding.  Many of my clients were working through trauma, and my lack of presence could be detrimental to the trust I’d built with them. It was that feeling of walking along a ledge of the mountain, my legs wobbly from exhaustion, needing to stay mindfully present — or else. 

The connection to my inner navigation was spotty, and getting to the top of that mountain felt like it might never happen for me.

I felt like such a fraud.

As individuals, we’re programmed to bond with others. We crave connection. Yet, there’s no instruction manual tailored to you and specifically what you need to navigate relationships. We tend to unconsciously do what we’re familiar with, or try to do the opposite of what we didn’t like from growing up. 

I had a 92% success rate with couples repairing and staying together based on 6-month follow-up surveys. And yet, I couldn't repair my relationship. I had to admit failure; despite my training, education, and experience. I was humbled. I felt unbalanced, never good enough, and something had to shift. It wouldn’t be until later when I learned more about covert narcissism, emotional blackmail, and how to stay off the drama triangle that I had a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics. The marriage programs I studied hadn’t included these. 

Now that I’ve lived through it, I can help my clients avoid those traps. 

So I told my close friends what was going on at home and filed for divorce. I returned to meditation, shamanism, and EMDR therapy to strengthen my internal navigation system. I broke free from the limited thinking that kept me trapped by doing the internal work. 

I started climbing mountains (literally), used neuroscience to learn mental agility, and turned to my emotions for guidance. Finally, I was feeling healthy and finding fulfillment within, instead of trying to obtain it from the outside. 

"There's resiliency that awakens within you when you use the pain as an opportunity to grow."

Finding freedom and a loving partnership. 

Anyone who’s gone through a divorce might relate to feeling gutted and depleted. When your relationship is unstable, it affects your entire life — work, friends, family, and your joy. It can be hard to keep going and avoid the victim trap, but there’s a deep peace in letting go of attachments, comfort, and predictability. 

 

There have been many times when I gained wisdom and grace from sitting through the depth of my pain and transforming within. I am grateful for these failures (F.A.I.L = Feedback And Its Learnings). I often had to learn the hard way that differences in relationships don't have to be difficult. If I wasn't struggling that much, I wouldn't have been so committed to evolving. This journey has resulted in a mastery of self that’s now a fun "mental agility" course. 

 

With these changes, I was more present, which meant I could get better results for my clients. I had the capacity to do deeper work with clients and still feel balanced and light at the end of my day. 

Today, I’m in a loving partnership. I have the freedom to be my authentic self. I live a life without obligation. My heart still randomly overflows with gratitude. When I’m not working with individuals or couples, I'm getting lost in the woods, practicing shamanism, meditating, doing yoga, riding my dirt bike, or racing cars (in 2019, I was third in class for the US and Canada in Autocross).

Those dark times resulted in such freedom. There’s resiliency that awakens within you when you use the pain as an opportunity to grow. Now, more than surviving, I’m thriving. I feel calm and I am connected to my inner navigation — intuition and wisdom from my higher self. 

 

This resiliency and calm is something I wish for everyone — that we all break free from the shackles of blind spots and find authentic strengths to live a life we love. 

Whether it’s navigating complicated relationships, climbing a mountain or the career ladder, success comes when we have inner navigation and the right tools to get us there. My mission is to help people find their own tools/resources to support them on their path to personal freedom.

Find your inner navigation.

I’m passionate about helping people gain strategies for life and love. 

Life's too short to live unhappy or unfulfilled.

I’m here to help you achieve mental agility, emotional stability, and deep connection with yourself and others.

 

Whether you’re experiencing unexpected changes, roadblocks, depletion, reactivity, grief, confusion, or outrage, there is hope. 

 

You can learn how to take productive steps and turn it into something constructive. 

 

Discover how we can work together here

Credentials

  • Gottman Seven Principles Program Educator since 2013 

  • Masters of Education in Counseling, University of Puget Sound, 1996

  • State Licensed and Nationally Certified Counselor

  • Certified NeuroLeader and NeuroCoach, Optimind Neuroscience Coaching & Training Institute 

  • Certified Brain Health Coach, Amen University

  • 20+ years of Mindfulness Practice and journeying experience taught by the Foundation for Shamanic Studies

  • Proficiency with Everything DISC Profile, MBTI, and various Career Assessments

  • 80 credit hours EMDR for Complex Trauma and Attachment Wounds

  • Integrating Neurobiology & EMDR: Part 1-4

  • Enlightenment Intensive Facilitator

  • 2 year Vibrational Health program

  • 1 year Restorative Touch program

  • 2-week shamanic healing intensive through the Foundation for Shamanic Studies

  • Usui Reiki 1 and 2

 
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WEBSITE BY LIMITLESSLY, DESIGNED BY ERIKA.

COPYRIGHT 2020 ©, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. DEANNE CARTER.

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